I'm not being Obtuse
by actafoo
Summary: AU- Sakura is failing math, so plans on working it out by hunting down the head of her textbook company. When she meets the Math Mojo's brother, Sasuke, how will she learn to get along with him as her tutor?
1. Chapter 1

Atcafoo: My ultimate fantasy is definitely this story. (If this doesn't prove how much of a nerd I am…) Well, I suppose a knight in shining armor comes in first. In fact, if they saved my life it would be cooler... My list could go on forever. This idea popped into my head as I glanced at my math book's cover and thought 'How cool would it be if the author of these problems was really hot?' Honestly. It would make the book a whole lot better, but they're always either old or ugly. Oh, well.

Since no one reads the author's notes anyway, read on! My first non-oneshot…

I'm not being Obtuse, but…

As a general rule of math, there are always two groups of people. The first group is referred to as 'Those with the Gift.' The second group is simply referred to as 'The Rest.' The first group is filled with those who can memorize formulas in an instant, solve hard algebra in their head, and recite a great portion of pi along with various other skills.

One glance at Sakura's test was enough to easily separate her into a group instantly.

"I got a D?!" Sakura exclaimed. "There must be some flaw in Mrs. Luxa's grading!"

Ino glanced over her shoulder at her friend's test and rolled her eyes. "Sakura, you do realize that this is your third D this month."

"Yeah, because the teacher hates me!" She flipped her pink hair over a shoulder and handed Ino her test. "Take a look."

"Sakura…" Ino groaned. "You said that the square root of 256 was eight. You said that 8 plus 8 equals 16x was x equals 3. This was major review! I remember doing this in sixth grade! We're _freshmen!_"

"It's not my fault. I always forget stuff over the summer." This defense fell through.

"Sakura… It's November." Ino placed her hand on her friend's shoulder. "…I think you need a tutor."

Sakura gaped. "You can't be serious! It's this math book! Who writes this anyway? It's their fault!"

Ino rolled her eyes again. "Why don't you go tell them that, then?"

"Maybe I will!"

"Ladies! Quiet down! _Some_ people in here are actually trying to learn." Mrs. Luxa slammed her ruler against her desk.

"I told you she hated me." Sakura murmured louder than she intended, burying her head into her arms.

"Detention, Haruno."

----

"That was a royal pain in the butt." Sakura kicked a rock as she pulled on the hem of her skirt. "I can't believe she gave me a detention."

Ino laughed. "At lest you didn't get an F. Or should I say another one..?"

"You're pushing it, Ino. You know how bad I am at math!"

"Which is why I think you need a tutor." Ino pointed out. "I really think you should consider it. I don't care if you think it's going to ruin your reputation or anything. Your mom won't be happy either when she finds out what your grade is."

"She won't find out. I'm not going to tell her anything until she sees my grade on my report card at the end of this semester." Sakura smiled brilliantly. "By then, I'll have everything sorted out."

"Really, now?" Ino poked her shoulder. "How are you going to do that?"

"By then I'll have contacted the math-book people for a written apology saying that my grade is their fault."

"I was kidding when I said that, idiot!" Ino gaped at her friend. "Plus, you have no idea where they live, and when you find them, how exactly are you going to get a note that says that you are failing because of them? I see a gaping hole in this plot of yours. Several, even."

"Just you wait, Ino." Sakura waggled her index finger at the blonde. "When I have them on speed-dial, you'll be on your knees worshipping my goodness."

"You know, you could be the first person to ever stalk an algebra book making company." Ino sighed. "You never answered my question anyway. How are you going to find out where they live?"

"Two words, dear Ino. _MySpace _and _Google Maps_."

"Isn't that three?" Ino gasped dramatically. "Don't tell me you've forgotten how to count too! When you start relying on the Count to get through high school math…"

"I don't need Sesame Street to pass this class…" Sakura explained and then smirked. "…Just their home phone numbers and address…"

"God, I hope nobody cute is listening to this conversation." Ino shook her head sadly.

"_Che. _Not that you'd have a chance anyway, pig." Sakura teased.

"Watch your mouth, forehead!"

----

Sakura slowly guided her mouse around on her keypad to click on the _Easy Algebra Book_ website. The clock flashed '11:09' and she knew she had to get some sleep sometime. She had already narrowed down her target to Sharingan Corps. All that was needed now was the name of the authors.

"Jackpot!" Sakura exclaimed excitedly. There were four people total that were listed. One was in bold lettering, large and thick as if it was standing out for a reason. And what were the chances of someone in here actually living nearby? It must have been destiny. (Or the fact that the school was trying to support local companies…)

_**Itachi Uchiha**_

"You, Itachi Uchiha, will prepare to feel the wrath of a high school girl."

----

"_You can't be serious!!"_ Ino exclaimed. "What do you mean you know where he lives?"

Sakura gave her the thumbs up. "Well, apparently he has a friend named Kisame or something who has a MySpace. And a shark fetish…"

"Getting off topic!" Ino sang.

"Well, there was some sort of deal and I got his address. Isn't that great?" Sakura skipped happily. "I hope he doesn't have a heart attack when I find him. An old geezer like him shouldn't last much longer."

"Old geezer?" Ino rolled her eyes. "How old?"

"Well, it didn't say. Kisame was about 25, but I have no idea how old this Uchiha guy is." Sakura said thoughtfully.

"Oh my gosh!" Ino clapped her hands together. "If he was so old, why would he have a young friend? He could be, like, 20 and gorgeous!"

"That's what you get for reading too much manga, Ino-pig!" Sakura scolded. "Maybe this Kisame character is just weird."

"I'm just brining up the possibility. You know you were hoping, too."

"Yeah, yeah." The pink-haired girl rolled her eyes. "I just hope he can get off of Life Support long enough to sign my apology."

"You have no confidence in a God being up there." Ino sighed. "Romance these days."

"Now look who's the geezer." Sakura ragged. "Come with me, please?"

"NO." Ino made a drastic 'end' motion with her hands. "If you're going to stalk possible child molesters, you can do it by yourself. It's not like my grade needs any help anyway."

"Fine." Sakura pouted. "If I get raped, I blame you."

"We're going to be late for school if you don't hurry it up!" Ino yelled and started running.

"It's only seven hours until 3:00." She reminded herself as she started to jog at her own pace. "Then you can visit the house. By yourself. With a possibility of being raped."

Then the day seemed a little brighter.

----

If Sakura had been a weaker (or perhaps smarter) person, she would have thought twice about knocking on the front doors of the large mansion in front of her. It was beautifully designed, and two large marble pillars held the whole house up. The lawn was probably the source of the 'grass is greener on the other side' phrase. Large sprinklers spruced up the whole place, and ivy covered the walls. It looked like something out of a portrait from earlier times.

In the back of her head, Sakura wondered how someone who had devoted themselves to writing _textbooks_ had worked up enough money to afford such an expansive place as this.

_Probably heirs,_ Sakura reassured herself. _The chance of them being robbers is about 1,000,000,000 to 1._

She lifted a hand daintily past the large knockers (Who had those anymore?) on the doors to ring the bell. She could hear it echo through the house and waited patiently for the elder to arrive. It was probably taking him awhile to get down the stairs-

In a sudden flurry of motion, the doors swung open.

"_I told you that I __**don't want to buy**__-!"_

The situation was like something out of a movie. The ones where a person is really bugging a character, so when he answers the phone for the third time to yell at the annoying fiend, it ends up being his girlfriend who then thinks that he hates her.

Sakura felt _very much_ like the girlfriend at that moment.

Then the boy looked at her and she lost all ability to form words. He was about a head taller than her with medium length dark hair that was spiked in the back. He had pale skin that made her wonder if he had ever walked out of the front door of his house. (Of course, if Sakura had lived there, she wouldn't either.)

"Who are you?" The newly established cute guy glared at her.

Now _that_ wasn't very nice. At least he wasn't a child molester.

----

Because you all wish that you had hot guys in the cover of your textbooks. McDougal Litell just doesn't do it for me.

Review, please!


	2. Chapter 2

Actafoo: I am absolutely ecstatic about having a real _chapter story. _I cannot even express my excitement in words, well, except for these. I thank you all for your wonderful reviews. They definitely made my day. Sorry about the delay, by the way. I had a _huge _test that I had to study for. EW…

"_Farewell, all my friends in textbooks, I'm going home."_

-'Dear Vienna' _Owl City_

Chapter Two

The staring (or glaring) contest was starting to get on Sakura's nerves. She didn't even know this boy! Why the heck was he trying to stare her down?

"I'm pretty sure I asked you a question," Mr. Attractive rolled his eyes. "Do you have hearing issues?"

Well, that was rude. "Uh…" If he wasn't so pretty, Sakura probably would have told him off. "Well…"

The boy looked really pissed. Almost as if he was going to set a pit bull on her or something.

"Spit it out!" Yup, the dog whistle was out.

"NO! Uh, are you Itachi's grandson?" Sakura finally burst out.

The attractive male before her looked surprised for a moment before bursting into paroxysms or laughter. Funny, that wasn't the type of thing that Sakura had pegged this guy to do.

"Wait 'till I tell Naruto _this_ one. And Kisame will have a laugh…" The boy muttered to himself while smirking. _That_ seemed to fit his face better.

"Um…" Sakura tried to feel like she wasn't out of place. "My name is Sakura Haruno. I'm looking for Itachi Uchiha. He's the one who wrote that local math book, right?"

"Yeah," The boy nodded. "My name is Sasuke. He's my brother."

"WHAT?!" Sakura gaped. "But you're so _young!_ And aren't people who write math books supposed to be old and nerds and…"

"That's an awful bias to have. He's only twenty or so." Sasuke deadpanned. "Why do you need to see him, anyway?"

Sakura calmed down and cleared her throat. "I want to inform him that there is a problem with his books. I can't seem to understand the concepts, so now I'm failing…"

"Sounds like you need a tutor. I guarantee that there are no problems in his books." He explained.

"That's what the pig said…" Sakura grumbled to herself.

The look Sasuke was giving her reminded her of how one might look at an alien species. (She never said the right thing in front of the masculine population.)

"Uh," Sasuke appeared to be irritated. "Look, it would be a waste of time to wait around for Itachi to come back from his job hunt. You should probably go home."

"Job hunt?" Sakura didn't care if she was overstaying her welcome. She wasn't going to go home unless the trip had accomplished _something._ "I thought that he wrote textbooks."

"The job hunt isn't for him." Sasuke explained while glancing at his watch. "We need a cook for dinner time. He can make breakfast for me, and I get lunch at school, but he's at work during the evening. I can't even make cereal, let alone a decent meal for myself. He's so picky, though. I doubt anyone will be good enough for him."

Sakura saw her opportunity. "Are you good at math?"

"What?" Sasuke gave her a suspicious glare. "Yeah, I guess it runs in the family…or something…"

"Can you tutor me, please?" Sakura clasped her hands together tightly while trying to appear pitiful.

"Uh, no." He shook his head. "Why can't you get someone else to do it?"

"I don't have enough money for it." Sakura pleaded with her eyes.

"What makes you think that _I'll_ do it for free?" Sasuke glared angrily.

"It won't be for free." Sakura elucidated. "I'll cook dinner for you after we study! I might not be great at math, but I'm an excellent chef. I really need this."

"I'm not about to tutor you every day. What would I do when we didn't have a study session?" Che, he was finding all the loopholes.

"I'll teach you how to cook." Sakura promised. "Please?"

It was at that moment that Sasuke's older brother stepped out of his sleek, black car an approached the driveway.

"Sasuke!" It was at that moment when the man took off his sunglasses and coat that Sakura realized that math skills weren't the _only_ things that ran in the family. Talk about hitting the genetic jackpot!

His dark hair was much longer and pulled into a ponytail that reached about halfway down his back.

"Who's this lovely young lady? I thought you still believed that girls had cooties."

Did that mean that Sasuke was single…? Sakura was surprised.

"This is Sakura Haruno. She wants me to tutor her." Sasuke cleanly left out the details of their almost-deal. "Did you find a cook for me?"

He sounded a little too hopeful for Sakura's tastes. Ungrateful bastard, ignoring a perfectly good deal.

"No." Itachi sighed. "I'm afraid that none of the beautiful young ladies were qualified to be cooks at all. It's quite unfortunate, but I'm sure that the next modeling agency will have more hopefuls."

Sasuke groaned in annoyance. "I don't _want_ a model to cook for me. Even a guy would be fine."

Itachi's eyes glistened brightly as he smiled. "Why, Sasuke, I didn't know that you were that way inclined. If you preferred, I could start searching in bars-"

"Not what I meant. I don't care who cooks for me, as long as it's edible." Sakura immediately latched onto this logic.

"Then why'd you deny my request?" Sakura glared. It was time to introduce whatever-I-want-I-will-get Sakura.

"What request?" Itachi looked intrigued.

"The one that Sasuke-kun_ so conveniently_ left out." Sakura stated and then proceeded to explain her deal. "I offered Sasuke a chance for me to teach him how to cook him dinner in exchange of tutoring."

Itachi grinned. "Great. Sasuke, this seems like a fair deal. I have no idea why you haven't accepted this yet. Sakura, you're hired."

The pink-haired girl jumped with delight. What luck!

"It's not like you have anywhere to go at night." Itachi scolded Sasuke when he groaned, and then began to talk to Sakura. "You see, he never hangs out with anyone, girls in particular. That's when I began to suspect that he was-"

"Itachi." Sasuke glared. Sakura wondered if it had become involuntary for him to do that because he did it so often. "I hang out with Naruto all the time. Don't say I don't do anything, Mr. Home-on-a-Saturday-night."

"Hanging out with Naruto was my 'Exhibit A'." Itachi grinned. Sakura laughed.

"Would Monday, Wednesday, and Friday be okay with you?" She asked. "School ends at three, so we could do it at five…"

Itachi nodded. "Sasuke's school ends at four, so that would be fine. See you later, Sakura-Chan!"

Sakura grinned. "See you later, Itachi-san, Sasuke-sensei!"

As Sakura walked away, she could have sworn hearing Itachi say that she was cute, but it must've been her ears playing tricks on her. Especially since she didn't hear Sasuke argue in return.

---

Uh, yay! Review or something, please! I want to know how I did.


	3. Chapter 3

Actafoo: **IMPORTANT**: I just enabled anonymous reviews, as it wasn't before. I'm sorry for that previous inconvenience.

This chapter is dedicated to TeenageCrisis: You don't even know how much your review made my day. You remind me of my sister (I suppose this is a good thing…?) who said the same thing. Does it really seem like it might turn up that way? (Oops?) It might be interesting… I guess…

_You can spend your whole life analyzing, Justifying, quantifying, and dividing 'till there's nothing anymore.  
Why don't you just close your eyes and kiss my lips and let it go.  
Just let it flow. It's what I'm waiting for._

_-'The Math' _Hilary Duff

Chapter Two plus One (Just Kidding)

"NO WAY!!!" Ino screeched. "Are you serious?"

Sakura nodded while covering her ears. "He takes the saying 'tall dark and handsome' to new levels."

"I can't say that I didn't see it coming." Ino smiled knowingly. "And you doubted me. I _knew_ that he would be as handsome as anything. But, noooo, Ino exaggerates _everything_ she says."

"Uh, you kind of do." Sakura pointed out. "Anyway, I'm going to get tutored by his brother."

"His brother?" Ino elbowed her ribs. "Younger or older?"

"OW!" The pink haired girl slapped Ino's arm away. "He's about our age."

Ino smiled evilly which didn't go over well with Sakura.

"Oh, no. No, no, no."She made various negative gestures with her hands. "You don't understand. The guy's a total as-"

"Language, Sakura." Ino cut off.

"I was going to say jerk." Sakura muttered. Ino snorted, clearly not believing her. "And anyway, he's waaaay out of my league."

"Oh! He's hot, too?" Ino was having a field day. "Does he go here?"

"Of course not." Sakura scoffed. "He goes to some private academy up in Rich-Ville or wherever he lives."

"He's rich, too?" Ino squealed. "Oh, tell me he's a Scorpio!"

"That and he's AB positive." Sakura rolled her eyes at her friend's antics. "I don't know anything about Sasuke except for the fact that he's a jerk, his brother thinks he's gay, and he's some sort of math _beast_."

"That's a _wonderful _name. Smart, rich, handsome…" Ino sighed. "I think I'm in love!"

"You say that twice every day." Sakura sighed. "And if you don't cut out your proclamations of false love, we're going to be late for school. Pick up the pace, pig!"

"Have you ever considered becoming a Spartan when you get older, Sakura?" Ino yelled. "It's pretty obvious that the whole 'school' thing isn't going to work if you have to repeat math!"

Ino noticed that the finger Sakura was currently holding up was _not_ her ring finger, or her index finger for that matter.

"Why the heck don't we just _leave earlier_ for school?" Ino wondered.

---

The school day passed quickly until 8th period. That was when it started to slow down.

"Today we will be learning how to rationalize the denominator…" Mrs. Luxa's voice went into one ear and out of the other for Sakura. The only thing that she was concentrating on was the picture she was drawing of herself slamming the shiny, big door into Sasuke's pretty face while giving Itachi a high five.

It was much more amusing than whatever her teacher was rambling on and on about.

Just as she was starting to add fangs and a goatee to her drawing she heard her name being called.

"Yes, Mrs. Luxa?" She answered politely.

"Can you answer the question on the board?" The teacher looked irritated. She must have seen that she wasn't paying attention.

"Uh, no." Sakura admitted."I don't."

"Come see me after class." Mrs. Luxa demanded. "I want to talk to you about something."

Sakura nodded and then ducked her head in embarrassment. Her drawing would have to be completed later.

---

"I think you should get a tutor." Mrs. Luxa explained. "I'm not sure what's going on, but I think you need some one on one time with a teacher in order for you to understand this stuff. It should be easier for you, and I know you're capable of learning if you're taught in the right way…"

"I'm getting one." Sakura interrupted. "I have my first session with him tonight, actually."

Mrs. Luxa smiled, and Sakura noticed that she actually looked happy for once. "I wish you luck, then. I really hope you pass this class. If you ever need any help, about anything, I'm here."

She waved as her bubblegum-haired student walked out of the door after getting a pass for her next class.

---

Sakura stepped up marble stairs once again and rang the doorbell. She heard a rush of footsteps and the door open as she stood patiently out front. The door opened to reveal Sasuke looking very scholarly in his plaid school uniform pants and blue sweater.

"Oh, Sakura. You're here." Sasuke looked less than enthralled.

"Nothing gets past you, sensei." Sakura muttered to herself, but from the growl she heard from Sasuke she could deduce that he had heard as well.

"Ah, Sakura!" Itachi walked out from another room with a sharp suit on and looking very regal. "I was going to leave earlier, but I wanted to greet you because Sasuke lacks proper manners. I can assure you that I received the right genes."

"Thank you, Itachi." Sakura acknowledged. "I brought over some vegetables and spices for dinner. I wasn't sure what kinds of food you liked, but I brought basil and tomatoes…"

Itachi smiled graciously. "I'm sure that someday you will make an excellent housewife."

Sakura blushed profusely.

"Now then," Itachi walked out of the door and past Sakura. "I must be going to my job. Take care of her, Sasuke. Don't do anything Kisame would."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and still managed to glare at the same time. That took skill, Sakura noted.

The door shut with an air of finality and brought Sakura out of her daze.

"Uh, I brought my math book. I wasn't sure if you kept copies or something because your brother wrote it and stuff…" Sakura began to gesticulate wildly.

"Quit rambling," Sasuke shook his head. "We'll just go to the study. I'm pretty sure I have a copy, so you don't have to bring one next time."

Sakura nodded. "Thanks. You know, my friend Ino practically died when she found out that my tutor lived in a mansion. She was jumping and screeching and stuff."

"She sounds like Naruto." Sasuke groaned. "When he found out I was tutoring a female, he was definitely on my case."

Sakura raised her eyebrows.

"He doesn't hang out with many girls. Our whole school is basically guys. The only girl he knows is Hinata Hyuuga, but she some major lame crush on him." Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Hyuuga…" Sakura tapped her chin in thought. "That sounds familiar."

"Her cousin Neji might live near you. They're in different school districts."

"No _way!"_ Sakura squealed. "Neji and I were best friends in preschool! He said that only _I _was smart enough to be his friend!"

"That must have been a long time ago." Sasuke didn't even care if Sakura heard what he said or not.

"Meanie. But, I guess it's true. I haven't talked to him in about three years, and now my best friend is Ino." She countered and stuck her tongue out. "What's your friend's name again?"

"Naruto." He replied. "I know, it's unique."

"Actually," Sakura tapped her chin thoughtfully. "I was going to ask if that was an ingredient in Ram-"

"Don't say that!" Sasuke shouted, covering her mouth frantically. "That word is taboo!"

Sakura bit Sasuke in order to get him to let go. "What are you talking about? I wasn't going to say anything bad. I was just going to say ramen."

The raven-haired teen beside her began to repeatedly slam is head into a wall.

"Sasuke?"

All of a sudden, the front doors flew open and a form appeared in the archway that formed a long, dark shadow across the hardwood floor. The silence was eerie for a second, but the creature began to speak.

"_Did somebody say _'ramen'?"

"Ohmigod." Sakura squeaked out as she clutched Sasuke's sweater. "We're going to die."

"I told you not to say it."

----

Uh, review! Yeah! And here is a shameless advertisement for myself: I have two other SasuSaku oneshots, so if you're interested…

…read them?

And uh, PROBAMA, YES!!! (I'm just asking for something…)


	4. Chapter 4

Thank you to all who reviewed! Reviews make my day, and I accept challenges for the future. Believe me; I've come up with some wacky future story ideas. I might read clichés, but don't expect one to be written anytime soon.

AH. I apologize for not updating right away, but it's almost the end of the first trimester, which means loads and loads of homework and tests, and _then_ my laptop was taken away. Bleh.

I apologize if you were expecting some fluff right away, but I don't want to rush this story. It tends to ruin the drama. I'm also having way too much fun to stop writing this story short. I'm glad some of you think it's funny. I don't really do serious that well… and I'm sorry if you want the chapters to be longer, but I like to write little bits at a time. It helps me stay on track.

And I'm running out of songs with math references in them. Please suggest some if possible.

_Me plus you, I'll take that number.  
Multiply your smile, minus the drama.  
Give me a fraction of your heart.  
I'll solve your problems.  
Now put that together._

_-"Equation" _Ryon Lovett

Chapter Three

The dark shadow disappeared as a cloud blocked the slowly setting sun. All that was left was a very yellow-haired teenager in an orange and black jumpsuit with a picture of ramen taped on delicately.

"Uh, Naurto?" Sasuke tried to remove a shaking Sakura from his sleeve. "_Please_ don't tell me that you're dressing up as RamenMan again. I thought that ended in 3rd grade."

"Would you know that vintage is _in?" _Only when the blonde kid started to advance toward Sakura did she let go of Sasuke's sweater. "Who's this? Is this your student? She's _pretty_!"

"Uh," Sakura began to twirl her hair around her finger nervously. "I'm Sakura. Are you Naruto?"

"No way!" The blonde boy held out his hand for her to shake. "What a great name! Is your hair natural? Have you met Itachi yet?"

"Naruto," Sasuke rolled his eyes. It seemed to be his signature thing besides smirking. "I don't even think she knows what you just asked her. Ask one question at a time."

Sakura extended her hand to meet his. "Sasuke told me you were his best friend."

The boy grinned. Sakura noted that his smile could temporarily stun someone with its brightness. "Sasuke bastard talked about me?"

…Then she almost choked. Did he just call his friend a- a _what?! _N_othing better than what you call Ino,_ she reminded herself.

Sasuke interrupted her thoughts. "I only mentioned you a couple of times. How she got the idea that we were friends is beyond me."

"Like pretty much everything else," Naruto scoffed and grabbed Sakura's hand. "Would you like to go fix something to eat with me? I only had, like, three bowls of ramen today and since Iruka is on vacation or something I haven't been able to afford any vegetables. He keeps on saying stuff like 'Naruto, you will be blind as a bat when you're twenty if you don't eat your carrots!' I've been trying to tell him that _Batman _has prefect vision, and _he's _a bat, but _noooo-"_

"Naruto, shut up." Sasuke seethed. "Sakura and I need to study now."

"OH." Naruto narrowed his eyes. "You need to study, huh?"

"Yes, Naruto." Sasuke rolled his eyes, clearly wanting his friend to leave. "And please change your clothes after you leave. That jumpsuit may have been way too big for you in 3rd grade, but that doesn't seem to be a problem now."

"Just because you're jealous that I'm cooler than you doesn't mean you have to go all _fiendish_ on me." Naruto smirked back. Sasuke seemed to pull this off better.

"And just because you have a tattoo doesn't make you cool."

Sakura raised an eyebrow at the statement.

"Naruto has a tattoo?"

"I got it a while ago!" Naruto replied cheerfully.

"He got this awful spiral thing on his stomach when he was eight." Sasuke clarified. "It's really ugly, and no one's even sure how or _where _he even got it."

"Tattoos _do _make you cool. Sasuke's just jealous." The blonde boy stuck is tongue out. "Even your brother has one."

"Itachi has a tattoo?" Sakura exclaimed while trying to keep a straight face. This conversation just kept on getting stranger every minute. "What did he get?"

"He has the quadratic formula or something." Naruto enlightened her.

Sasuke nodded. "It's even lamer than Naruto's. I'm pretty sure he was drunk when he got it. That or Kisame dared him to do it. They do the weirdest things…"

"I didn't see it the other day…" Sakura pointed out to herself. "Where is it?"

Naruto grinned broadly. "Do you really want to know?"

"I don't even want to know how Naruto found out." Sasuke came close to shuddering. "Neither of us _told_ him, and he's not too friendly with Itachi…"

"Don't be stupid. Itachi and I are _very_ friendly," Naruto replied. "Kisame told me. And for the record, Itachi wasn't drunk and Kisame didn't ask him to do it."

"Where is it?" Sakura was almost nervous to ask this again.

"Sasuke's making a mountain out of a molehill. The tattoo's not on his-"

"It's on his bicep." Sasuke cut in. "And if you'd excuse us, Naruto, we really do need to study."

"Fine," The blonde pouted. "But you better invite Sakura over sometime so we can hang out. It's not fair that you get to play with her, while I barely even know her."

"It's called _studying_, idiot. We don't bring out the tinker-toys or anything like that. We don't _play_."

"Don't act like such an adult, Sasuke," Naruto grinned. "I've seen the Care Bear that you keep in your closet. What do you call it, again? Fuzzle-buddy?"

"When were you in my closet?!" Sasuke steamed.

"Geez, calm down, much!" Naruto pouted. "You can't take a joke. This is why I insist he's allergic to PB and J…"

"PB and J? I wasn't aware you could be allergic to jelly," Sakura thought out loud.

Naruto grinned. "It's not peanut butter and jelly. 'PB and J' is short for Playful Banter and Jokes. He's terminally allergic to them, apparently. Don't even try to be friendly around him."

"If I was allergic to jokes, Naruto, I wouldn't hang out with you." He rolled his eyes.

"Hey!" Naruto protested as he walked backwards out of the open door. "Does that mean that I tell too many jokes, or that you think _I'm_ a joke?!"

"Goodbye, Naruto." Sasuke slammed the door behind him. "Now we can study in peace."

Sakura must have looked like an idiot just _gaping_ there as the door made its last creak. "Uh…"

"Don't tell me I have to teach you English, too," Sasuke snapped. "I believe we were about to study."

---

Tutoring was nothing like the 'Sylvan Learning Center' commercials that Ino and Sakura had made fun of when they were younger. It was more learning, more time-consuming, less smiling, less overall joy and happiness. Sasuke was a practically a Spartan.

"You're doing it wrong!" He pointed out as he rolled his eyes. "That's the fifth problem in a row that you've done that way."

"I know," Sakura groaned. "I don't think you're teaching it right."

"If I'm not teaching it right, it's only because I'm so hungry," Sasuke glanced at her work. "You forgot to carry that two. That's why this isn't working!"

"Uh, yeah," Sakura mumbled. "I think we need a break, ASAP."

"Food _would_ be nice."

They pushed their chairs back and stood up. Sakura yawned and stretched her arms. "Holy crap, I don't think I've ever done so many math problems at one time, except for the SAT's in elementary school."

"That's probably why you're not doing so well." Sasuke muttered as he led her down the steps. "You better make me a good meal."

Sakura ignored his first statement. "Don't worry. I've got tons of cooking skills up my sleeve."

"Just cook something and teach me how to do it," Sasuke sighed while rubbing his eyes. "No need to take all day. Unlike you I'm a fast learner."

Sakura narrowed her eyes dangerously. "I'll ignore that comment if you carry my bag in for me."

"Deal."

**---**

Hooray! Sorry about the long wait, again. I didn't have access to my laptop for a while. Although I do admit that I wasted about five minutes wondering why this was labeled 'Math 4' on my computer when it was the third chapter…

Happy belated Thanksgiving to all, and to all a good night!

Oh, and review, please! I need more math-y songs.


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